Well, my attempts to update more frequently have clearly been thwarted, by a combination of my own wretched laziness and an extremely exhausting last couple weeks at school. However, as of yesterday at 12:49 PM PST, (when the kids got out, maybe 1:47 when I got out is a better number) I have finished my first semester teaching. Please celebrate with me... come on, I'm not seeing much celebrating. Given that I have 7.5 hours until my flight leaves (or about 5 hours before I leave my house... love LAX) and most of my packing is done, it's been suggested that I use this time in a TFA-approved manner- reflecting on the semester. Now, a week and a half ago I went to JZ's house for a TFA sponsored "corps reflection dinner" where I assumed we would go and hang out and try our damndest on a Thursday night not to talk about teaching. Hah. One of the TFAista leadership arrived and immedately began posting chart paper and nudging us all into a big circle so we could answer touchy-feely questions. Well, after snagging another beer to make the entire thing even possible to sit through (though I was yelled at once for "elevator talk" when I leaned over to ask RW if she agreed with me that having an enormous copy of Plato's Republic in your living room seemed pretentious) I did take away one useful thing from the shindig- I am having way, WAY more fun than most of the other folks. People were complaining about not liking anyone at their school, about being incredibly stressed, about going home and having to physically pry themselves away from grade books. When it came my turn to say how I dealt with stress, I recieved (received?) numerous death stares for saying something like "well, I try to laugh at things... when the kids say after 3 weeks on Islam that Mohammed founded the religion on a hunting trip, I show it to my roomates, we all laugh, then I go on and try to make it better." This apparently is not the way other folks handle it.

I'm not sure if my fingers have the capacity at this point in time for full-fledged reflection... so much has gone on over the course of the past 4 months (6 if you count Institute) that I surely couldn't recount it all (plus it should be all here floating around in the archives- thanks to JD for braving all of it and for your comments). However, I could probably break it down into some basic lessons learned, in no particular order-

-Assume they know nothing. I have been burned more times going into a lesson with the assumption that the kids had some kind of prior knowledge of what the hell it was I was talking about. Not so much... many had never heard of Islam (despite sept. 11), samurai, continents, and various other things I thought I could gloss over.

-Break it down. The only way I've found to get around kids being absolutely baffled at what I'm saying is to break everything down into tiny bite-sized chunks of information, repeat them ad nauseum, and break down tasks the same way ("Okay, everybody put your name on your paper. Now hold it up to show me you have it written down. Now copy the sentence from the board. I'm coming around to check that you're copying the...")

-7th graders are amazing / 7th graders are horrible. Some absolutely fantastic kids thus far this year, many of whom I would have been pleased to have as friends back in the day...

okay, I'm sick of this lessons learned thing. If you have particular questions, talk to me and ask something other than "how's teaching going" because you'll get the answer "it's going" or some other drivel. I'm out-

After some prodding from various folks, I'm going to try to update more frequently. I think tonight may be the first time I've realized how insular my life in LA is. I see all these folks at work, and ostensibly have a corps of 200 LA TFAistas to chill with, but because RH and BL are doing architecture work, and JY and RD are out with their respective girlfriends, and I just took JZ to the airport to fly to San Fransisco, I effectively have nobody in this entire metro area of like 15 million people to hang out with. Thus, it's 8:36 on a Friday night and I'm at home IMing people, heating up a frozen pizza and updating this blog. Lest I sound overly pathetic, usually Fridays are good times at Sharkeez happy hour with the crew, followed by a group trip to the fabled "Tavern on Main" (oswego folks think Old City, Ham Tekkers The Rok with no TDX meatheads) for some pool, positouch, and discussions with the local racist former coal miner... good times generally, but tonight... not so much.

Thanksgiving break is over- it was really nice to have a break. We went to RD's parents' place in Orange County for the big Turkey Day itself, and had a really nice early meal there. Following that up, I went with RH, BL, RD, and BW to a go-kart place near Irvine and spent the rest of the day riding go-karts and playing arcade games and mini-golf. It was a fairly bizarre day, altogether, very different from more family-oriented Thanksgivings that I've had in the past. Although the go-karts were a decent substitute for riding four-wheelers at Uncle Tom's place. Missing Thanksgiving at home 2 times in the past 3 years has definitely been pretty odd. Both times that I've missed it, I've come pretty close to the "urban tribes" model that I hold so dear to my heart (taking 3 hours off from work on the campaign in 2000, go-karting with friends this year) and had some Eggers-like moments that I'll certainly cherish, but both times I couldn't help but wish I was back in upstate NY with the fam.

Back in the saddle after the weekend, looking forward to Thanksgiving vacation, and then the mere 2 weeks of actual teaching after that, followed by a week of showing videos and playing jeopardy or something since grades are already in and kids aren't allowed to bring backpacks and nobody does any work. We had a meeting just to show new teachers how to waste that week by playing 7-up in class. Given that I have kids that can't write a simple declarative sentence without seven grammatical errors, it's kind of nauseating to think of using the week that way... I'm hoping at least to play some review games and maybe watch movies and write about them. I guess most of my time will be taken up getting everything ready for going off track, a process that sounds only vaguely less intimidating than prepping for a moon launch, but apparently is doable, given that hoards of incompetent LA teachers do it regularly.

Meetings meetings meetings. Last week, out of a 4 day week at school, I had a meeting immediately after classes 3 days in a row. The only meeting-free day was Friday. Consequently, I had to postpone a whole pile of detentions, tutoring, and other stuff until then, when nobody in their right mind actually wants to stay after school. Highly annoying. Tomorrow, I get to go to the king of all time-wasting meetings: my district pre-intern program 3.5 hour afterschool bullshit. I have to do this 5 Mondays in a row, until the end of the semester, so they can give me test prep (likely doled out by some district hack with a cal state dominguez hills degree in adult education) on taking the secondary social studies content exam. I think of all the things that I could use assistance on in the teaching realm, social studies content is not one of them. Frankly, I've only found about one of the formal professional development sessions to be at all useful so far.... most of them refuse to treat teachers like reasonable professionals- making us do stupid icebreakers and draw posters like we were at RA training for college or something. I think i'm going to bring something to read and sit quietly in the back tomorrow.

Honestly it's pretty difficult to teach when all your after-school time gets sucked up with administrative garbage, and you have zero time to stay after to talk to kids who've been absent, or who haven't turned in their homework, or who are there every day paying attention but still think that Islam is a place. Speaking of which, about time to start grading my Islam final projects- grades are due Wed. and I have a stack of portfolios to look at. I'll post some of the more entertaining snippets.

The viewing of "The Circle" I talked about below was an amazing success. I was pretty thrilled that the kids sat still to watch a movie in Farsi (Farsi!!!) with subtitles, but things went really well. The kids were absolutely appalled at the depictions of how women are treated in Iran, and many of them were really pissed that Bush doesn't do anything about it ( I certainly did little to quell that). In my honors class, we even got into cultural relativism- trying to see things from the eye of the Ayahtollah (if you'll permit me the lousy pun) and look at our marriage/divorce rates, abortions, babies out of wedlock, billboards for the Spearmint Rhino gentleman's clubs, sexual harassment, etc. seems from their POV. Best of all, 3 of the kids (of varying skill levels) all have borrowed the movie from me to finish watching at home.

Weekend was exceptionally nice.

by the way... election right now is too painful to talk about.

Going to try my first multimedia presentation tomorrow- and maybe I'm aiming a little high? The movie I rented is in Farsi with subtitles - The Circle, about the plight of Iranian women - but I was encouraged when one of my students watched it when I suggested it (she was writing about the role of women in Islamic society) and said she really liked it. Hopefully the rest of the class can at least abstain from raghead jokes so I don't have to throw too many of them out of class (As I found when we covered "Niger" in geography warmup, lowbrow racist humor is certainly their forte). Also coming up tomorrow is my first Parents' night. I hired/bribed one of the honors kids in my homeroom to translate for me, just hoping he shows up. Will attempt to explain to parents why their kids are failing (because, parents response to "He doesn't do his homework and is disrespectful in class" is often "he's lazy and disrespectful at home, too" well, shit.)

Howard Dean for prez- check this out: www.dean2004.blogspot.com (if I remembered any HTML I'd have this encoded for ya)

Spent the evening protesting commercial "Holiay Compression" by giving trick-or-treaters candy canes from the big display of Christmas candy available at Ralphs, which this afternoon took the place of all the Halloween candy that was there yesterday. And responding "Merry Christmas" to each "trick or treat". I think the local parents think i'm some sort of crank.

Ahh, back from a fantastic weekend in San Fransisco. Drove up Friday w/ roomates RD, RH, and BL and crashed at RD's girlfriend's place in San Jose. Sat. morning got up and tourned around the Bay Area, saw the houseboats in Sausalito, drove on the touristy "really windy street", almost bottomed out RH's Intrepid on the steep hills, etc., and basically killed time until the Bridge School Benefit concert Sat. night. Amazing lineup- Vanessa Carlton, Foo Fighters, Tenacious D, Ryan Adams, LeeAnn Rymes (no idea how to spell that... not a big fan of hers) Thom Yorke, James Taylor, and Neil Young. All accoustic. Highlights were Thom Yorke playing radiohead tunes from Amnesiac plus 2 new songs on Neil Young's old upright saloon piano... pretty amazing. Also, Neil and James dueting on "Heart of Gold", which I think is one of the best musical moments I'll ever have a chance to witness.

Back in the grind today, was initially reeling from a rotten Friday, where my ineptitude with the school's grading program caused all of the kids to get the incorrect grades on their report cards, which fortunately was remedied quickly by some really fantastic folks in the counseling office who saved my sorry ass. Passed out the corrected report cards today and had to give the "I didn't give you the grade, you earned it" speech about a million times in response to kids who didn't do so well because they didn't, say, turn anything in. Fortunately things went pretty well today despite not really having much planned out before about 5:39am this morning. I'm learning to use my drive-time very productively.

Today's fun moment- Stopped for the first time to get gas in the neighborhood where I work, realizing at last that it's $.20 cheaper than it is in El Segundo. Went inside to pay instead of getting hosed paying at the pump (note- many gas stations put a $50 hold on a debit or credit card you use if you pay at the pump and hold it up to a couple weeks... this has involved me needing to beg gas cards from RH to get home from Buffalo) Anyway, strolled inside and was looking around while waiting to pay, first thought about grabbing some beer, which is a thought that usually occurs to me any time I see it for sale, then noticed that they also had a very competitive price for condoms, a product not oft used in these parts, but something that generally seems way too expensive for what you're getting. A quick check of my wallet, however, lead me to scotch those plans due to lack of liquid funds. Very fortunate, because as I turned around after paying for the gas, I ran into one of my students, who was buying those damn spicy cheetos that all the kids eat. Probably would've been hard to face my class tomorrow, knowing that all of them would have certainly been throwing around stories regarding what Mr. Williams was up to with beer and condoms... very good reason not to live where you teach.

Grades due tomorrow (well, i guess today at this point) and I finally got them all inputted (is that a word?) using LAUSD's ridiculously overcomplicated proprietary grading program "Bubbler", which seems more like something my idiot younger brother would use than a grading tool for 45,000 teachers. With a broken disk drive - one of the few remaining portions of the classic fall-1998 computer finally cashed out - i had to fiddle with burning a CD and network connections on 4 computers to finally get everything right, and it's still a crapshoot as to whether they'll be the way the school wants them. Such is life I suppose.

Well, you're reading the words of United Teachers of Los Angeles' Political Action Committee member. Elected today out of 6 candidates (they took 4) I managed to have the second highest tally of votes by using my one-minute speech to say something other than "i've been in the union for a long time and give a lot of money to it," namely "I actually have political experience." The rest of my first union meeting seemed to be mostly about trying to get people who have obviously been there for a long time to remember how parliamentary procedure works (ie: you can't have a motion that just has a whole bunch of "since the district does this..." complaints and no actual action). Why is it that, no matter if it's teachers with masters degrees or plumbers, all union members look the same? Do they all buy their satin too-small baseball jackets from the same union-bug textile manufacturer? Also, somewhat disturbing in a district where about a quarter of teachers are in their first or second year, that I was the youngest person there by 10 years.

great weekend.

New classic line from student's work:

"America would solve the problems that Rome had by asking the people that could give $.05, $.10, $.24, $1 for earnings and email it to the Navy to pay the army."

Career day today... wasn't that fun. Second period, got the educational outreach specialist from the Autry Museum of Western Heritage. Well, before she showed up, I thought she was Western Civ, so I prepped the kids with all sorts of questions about Rome, Greece, etc.... nope- it was the American West, with no bearing at all on my class, and even less on what I had them think about. Fortunately she had a project ready to go, so after questions we made Native American baskets for half an hour. I had to help the broken-arm kid, and despite between us having 3 hands I think our basket turned out to be around what a quadrapalegic 3-year-old would have made... (preemptive apologies to anyone with a parapalegic 3-year-old... or any over sensitive folks... that's just what it looked like) Third period feaured a cut-rate junior staffer from some state senator's office... not to be arrogant, but she wouldn't have even merited a call-back when I worked for Gore. She had about 15 minutes worth of stuff prepared for a 60 minute class, none of it interactive. So the kids of course went nuts, and I really wanted to ask her to leave, but she kept sitting there, talking randomly at them, while I tried to shush them without interfering with her babble. When she finally left, the class was so ridiculous that we couldn't do anything else and had to copy the "making choices" paragraph until the end of the period... lovely.

Damn am I bitter about Iraq

Catereed: ps tell me your stnad on iraq.
Catereed: so i figure you are AGAINST.
JW1679: incredibly bitter that senate dems wimped out
JW1679: so pissed at Clinton, Edwards, Biden, etc.
JW1679: so dishonest of them to agree to the resolution for "running in 2004" reasons
JW1679: when they dont' really want war
JW1679: btw- check out Howard Dean
JW1679: vt. governor
JW1679: my pick for 2004
Catereed: may i ask, though, to be devils advocate, when it is exactly we should intervene?
Catereed: anywhere....
Catereed: not just iraq.
Catereed: Saltercrs@aol.com is chucks e-mail, btw.
JW1679: when we've convinced the international community that it it's legit to intervene
JW1679: we should have somebody... anybody... on our side other than our lapdogs in britain
Catereed: give an example.
Catereed: i will agree, however, that the times article this morning made me drop my breakfest.
Catereed: tommy franks as leader of iraq. can you imagine?
JW1679: in '91, Bush I bothered to line up an international coalition
JW1679: got UN approval
JW1679: Korea- we got UN approval, went in under their auspices
JW1679: anytime where something internationally illegal HAS ALREADY HAPPENED
JW1679: bush's preemptive strike policy throws out all the international precedent, tradition, and legality since the vienna congress in 1815
Catereed: isnt (devils's advocate, dont hate me!) not allowing the inspectors in something that has already happened?
Catereed: could we not argue that it is not preemptive, but a legitimate fear now exists b/c he will not let us in?
JW1679: but he has let us in to most places
JW1679: and besides... we shipped him 3 different strains of anthrax in the 80s
JW1679: it's our shit
JW1679: for chrissakes we should have UN inspectors in the US checking our labs
Catereed: is most good enough. i agree that even if he has weapons of "mass destruction" then he will need a camal to swim over here to bother us....
JW1679: also... the latest CIA report- he has no plans to use them on the US... except if we attack
Catereed: have we ever given reason for others to believe that we are trying to use them on others? we should not have un inspectors in our places.
Catereed: everyone knows we have enough nukes to wipe out the rold.
Catereed: world
JW1679: and if we attack, what do you think he'll do with them? Leave them where they are? Turn them over to the UN? or maybe give them to Al Queda or Hamas or another group that can successfully hide them
Catereed: who needs to see that
Catereed: fair point
JW1679: well, we're the cowboys threatening to invade without provocation
JW1679: against international opinion
Catereed: i do not think we should go in,.
JW1679: who need to be appeased by the international community
Catereed: but i also think we need to get rid of him, if for no other reason than to show that the 91 campaign was not in vain.
Catereed: especially today with the announcement of the guy from 91
Catereed: did you hear about that?
JW1679: ?
Catereed: apparently the first guy who was shot down in desert storm....
Catereed: who was first listed as MIA
Catereed: and was then announced as dead
Catereed: is now (12 years later) possibly still alive in iraq according to intleligence reporst.
Catereed: how convenient.
JW1679: oh of course
JW1679: frankly, i think that '91 went fine
Catereed: so we are basically creating reasons to go in, for the average idiot american who believes that a soldier from 12 years ago is still alive and in capture.
JW1679: we drove them back from kuwait
JW1679: and returned borders to how they were
JW1679: that's how wars are supposed to go
Catereed: the true irony that kuwaites are shooting at us now...
JW1679: regime change should only be undertaken with the most severe cases
Catereed: fair enough.
Catereed: i do not think going in solves anything....
Catereed: however...
JW1679: think about it, how is the middle east going to react if we have Tommy Franks building an American client state in Iraq
JW1679: they'll be thrilled right
JW1679: give 'em the old Israeli '48 welcome
Catereed: LOL
Catereed: well, the american love of isreal needs to end right now.
Catereed: this is getting ridiculous.
JW1679: sharon's a thug
Catereed: did you hear about the idiot cab driver.
JW1679: but arafat's now better
JW1679: nope
Catereed: sorry, bus driver.
JW1679: no better rather
Catereed: he saw a passanger trip getting onto the bus, so he went to help him, and noticed he had a bomb strapped to his chest. yesterday in tel aviv i believe.
Catereed: whoops. trying to do the right thing can get you killed.
Catereed: sharon is an idiot, but they voted for someone who would take a radical stand.
Catereed: far be it for us to say they can not vote for who they want.
JW1679: quite... look at our wonderful prez
Catereed: touche
JW1679: have you read the projected stats on an invasion?
JW1679: $200 billion
Catereed: no what are they?
Catereed: i am afraid to ask
JW1679: 2500-5000 american servicemen dead
JW1679: 10,000 wounded
JW1679: 25-100k iraqi military casualties
JW1679: 50-100k iraqi civillian casualties
Catereed: just for arguments sake, who do they envision fighting back, after our desert storm experience?
Catereed: people using their underwear to surrender....
JW1679: they learned from that
JW1679: no more fighting in the open desert against our tank columns
JW1679: all their military is pulled back
JW1679: so it's mostly urban fighting
JW1679: their Surface to Air missle emplacements are on top of schools and hospitals so we can't bomb them
JW1679: it'll be less like desert storm, more like Mogadishu (Black Hawk Down)
JW1679: except instead of a handful of untrained gunmen
JW1679: we have a relatively well-trained and loyal army
Catereed: intersting sidebar....
JW1679: of a couple hundred thousand
Catereed: the guy who wrote black hawk down went to my undergad.
Catereed: i heard him speak when the book, not the movie, was realeades.
Catereed: jeff, we would win.
Catereed: no one would argue that.
Catereed: however, should we?
Catereed: i do nto htink so, but people die in war.
JW1679: oh i know we would win
JW1679: my cousin's husband was in Somalia
JW1679: he brought back audio tapes that he recorded while there
JW1679: it was horrible
JW1679: we lost 3000 people on 9/11
JW1679: conservative projections have at least that many just in American military
JW1679: what about all the iraqi civillians who would die?
JW1679: it's just not worth it
JW1679: with no credible evidence
JW1679: and what this would do (even worse) to international relations
JW1679: pakistan, now justified because they're our allies, using the "bush doctrine" of preemptive action to nuke India because it "might invade us someday???"
Catereed: would you argue that saddam is using his people? he is using the people of his country,....
JW1679: sure he is
JW1679: he's evil
JW1679: but lots of countries have evil leaders
JW1679: North Korea has incredibly evil leaders
JW1679: we almost went to war with them in 94
JW1679: estimates- 100k american lives, 900k koreans
JW1679: we didn't, we used diplomacy
JW1679: things calmed down
JW1679: they didn't nuke anyone
Catereed: so why do you think we are going in? what is your HONEST opinion?
JW1679: because bush is a stupid, simple, (but fairly honest) man and he thinks we should because he sees the world in a manichean black/white good/evil way
JW1679: and his dishonest advisors see it as a way to win the 2002 elections
JW1679: so they support him
JW1679: and chicken-shit democrats think that they can't win in 2004 unless they sign on
JW1679: so daschle, clinton, gephardt, and the others dishonestly went ahead for it
Catereed: so why not go into all these other countries you menioned? why iraq now?
JW1679: because to bush they're extra evil because they tried to kill his dad
Catereed: that is a scary thought.
Catereed: if this is all abotu his dad i mean.
JW1679: not all about... but bush sees things in absolutes
JW1679: and trying to kill ones dad makes you a badguy
Catereed: where did this come from, in your opinion?
Catereed: i mean,....
Catereed: after being prez for 2 years all of sudden....
Catereed: he gives a shit.
JW1679: 9/11 made it possible
Catereed: it is a YEAR later.
JW1679: read nicolas kristoff's NY times op/ed
JW1679: he's been gunning for iraq since 9/12/01
JW1679: http://www.nytimes.com/2002/10/11/opinion/11KRIS.html
Catereed: i can imagine
Catereed: i will read it, but i just get worried that we are becoming so political correct that we will never intervene anywhere, even when we need to...
JW1679: we should intervene in Sudan
JW1679: 1 million people have died in a ridiculous civil war
JW1679: we should probably intervene in Columbia
Catereed: what should be do?
Catereed: install tommy franks as prezz?
JW1679: i don't know for certain, but the first step is honestly addressing the problem for our country and the world
JW1679: like Leo said in wed.'
JW1679: s West Wing
JW1679: does it only stop when we plant an american flag in Mecca?
JW1679: not sure
Catereed: i agree.
Catereed: i am not sure when we start, or stop....
Catereed: it is a very hard call.
Catereed: but at the same time, i want to make sure that we don;t look like an idopt country.
JW1679: i think we look like bullies and buffoons now
Catereed: idiot country.... i worry about that. that is my ethnocentricity
Catereed: we do look like bullies
Catereed: but if we talk the talk, and then do not walk the walk..... we look like idiots.
Catereed: this is so funny.
JW1679: eh?
Catereed: my old roomate and i got into this last night.
Catereed: he is of the same mindset as you
Catereed: he is really pissed about this whole thinf.
JW1679: i can't even convey how pissed i am
Catereed: i am getting the messgae very clear.
Catereed: :-)
JW1679: mostly at senate Dems though
JW1679: republicans like mccain, or even hawks like lieberman
JW1679: i can respect because they present their values clearly
JW1679: it's bush's advisors and cowardly dems i despise

More fun times a la escuela. My 3rd period class continues to give me hell- tomorrow I get to send a table of kids down to the dean with Exhibits A, B, and C: defaced textbooks from their table bearing the slogans "Williams is a gayo", "Mr. Williams is a bitch", and my personal favorite- "Williams suck my pussy" (not quite sure who wrote that, as I'm pretty sure the table is entirely male). I figured it would be fun and less hassle for me to send them all down and let the referral room sort out which of the idiots was responsible for it, considering that he'll end up owing about $200 to the school. I've pretty much had it with my 3rd period class. Even when I do my damndest to make things useful or give them breaks, they somehow manage to screw it up. The two wingnuts who decided that during the test today, which I explicity told them would be no-talking, were gabbing away about their answers, had their tests taken away and ripped up in front of them. When I reconsidered later, and said they could come in after school to take the test, neither one showed up... And then we have DG, who went on a 2 week trip to Mexico, and despite my entreaties has yet to show up to get some sort of make-up work after school. My patience only goes so far- these are 13 year old kids, and should be competent to do something in their own damn self-interest without me having to chase them down and shove it down their throats.

Wow, it appears that a week has gone by since my last update... apologies to those who read this from time to time. In general, it seems that at the end of the day I'm basically to exhausted to do much updating... And now my attempt at reading The Lovely Bones in one week is taking time as well. See, I've wanted to read this for quite some time, but current finances are making the purchase of hardcover books impossible. So, I went to the library to get it. Unfortunately, they said, they have 5 people ahead of me on the wait list, so I read some other stuff instead. Then, upon returning said other stuff, I found that they have a special program where you can take out popular books, for a fee of $1, but you can only have them for 7 days and you can't renew. So right now, 4 days into my borrowing period, i'm not quite halfway done... much work cut out for me tomorrow.

Anyway, school goes extremely well. Got some difficulties with my third period class, but I think I got them in line yesterday. In need of an immediate solution to one kid's repeated disruptions, i used a suggestion from a fellow teacher. I summoned the kid to the front of the class and asked for his phone number. Then, I whipped out my cellphone, dialed, handed him the phone, and suggested that he explain to his parents why he was calling them from his history teacher's cellphone at 10:45 in the morning, instead of learning. That definitely shut the rest of the class up, and I didn't have to talk to a single person for the rest of the day. Currently trying to come up with 3 weeks worth of lessons on Islam, plus a controlling theme- if you have ideas pleas share.

Weekend's over, and way way too quickly. Actually had a pile o' work to do today, considering this was the first weekend after having a class that actually turned in assignments, so spent a big chunk of the day grading papers where a lot of the kids seemed to miss out on what exactly I was asking them, although work quality was way way up from Harte.

Also watched Evolution today. Rotten film, but the whole film redeemed by getting to watch Fox Mulder, Stiffler, and the 7-up guy sing "Play that Funky Music Whiteboy" as they drive down the road in a totally superfluous scene. You should watch it. On second thought, just get the DVD, watch that scene, then take it back to blockbuster and claim that it was scratched or something and use the store credit to rent something real.

Well, nuts. It seems like the last post, in which I lovingly and in great detail wrote about the environs of my new school, did not (for some reason known only to the evil gods whose mission it is to fuck with whatever computer I own at the moment) make it from the screen to the web. I suppose I'll try again, as opposed to abandoning the entire effort altogether.

Chester W. Nimitz middle school. Already the name alone is a step up. The new school: named after a brilliant admiral whose tactics greatly helped win the Pacific theater in WWII. Old skool: at worst, a professional wrestler, at best, some guy who wrote westerns.... or maybe the other way around. In short- I no longer dread waking up (although it's almost an hour earlier now- Nimitz starts at 7:20 and I'm 25 miles away), I actually feel like a teacher instead of a prison guard / zookeeper, and now I have two (2!!!) overheads in my classroom, neither of which I had to have swiped from another district, even though my main one blew a bulb yesterday (you know that something in life has irrevocably changed when your bad dreams involve going into work and trying to teach, but having forgotten to change the overhead projector's lightbulb... I'd almost take monsters under the bed again).

Just finished up the first week at the new school, and things are going so well (at least in comparison) that I think the interest-level of this blog might suffer from lack of ridiculous stories... although I think my ridiculously old and cranky (but highly entertaining) history dept. coworkers might provide some, and the villains will probably change from incompetent local administration to incompetent district level administration.

Surfing is hard, as the ocean is bigger, stronger, and faster than I.

Found out on thursday (after interviewing) that I have the position at Nimitz middle school. Still teaching evil 7th graders, but according to my roomate, who's also teaching there, these kids are pretty good. Of course, as no good event can happen without its karmic balancing event, I arrived home that day to find that somebody had been negligent paying the power bill, and the house was without electricity. Apparently Con Ed came by and, without warning, shut off the power and padlocked the box. So, after a frantic journey out to a shady check-cashing place to try to get same-day reconnection failed, we settled in to the encroaching darkness. Somewhere in the middle of a tea-light illuminated cribbage game, the punk band arrived. Some background- my roomate BL is friends with one of the guys from The Imports, who are in the middle of a failing west-coast tour. Apparently they played on Warp(ed?) tour last year, but are not drawing so well on my current coast. Anyway, they had been by before, but this time, they arrived because (and I shit you not) their hotel had lost electricity.

Enjoying my last weekend day, and hitting the beach before I have to prep for my new assignment at Nimitz tomorrow. In typical brilliant district fashion, I wasn't on some sort of list, and therefore can't start teaching tomorrow, but have to go up to the district office in the AM for some sort of further processing, then back to the school. Love it.

Well, looks like I may be escaping what has slowly turned into some degree of hell at Bret Harte Middle School. I think the combination of my inexperience and lack of any planning time before I got started led to one helluva got-off-on-the-wrong-foot. Anyway, my roomate JY got me an interview at his school, for a permanent middle-school social studies position. I'm really hoping that it's A-track, so that I actually have summer vacation off. With luck, the mistakes that I made with my current class can be avoided, and the viscious cycle of negativity can be avoided this time. Of critical importance right now is the degree of honesty with which I answer the inevitable "how long ya gonna stick around" question at the interview tomorrow. JY said he was sure it would come (he got it) and suggested that I tell them what they want to hear. They certainly don't want to hear that I'm already rounding up law school recommendations, I'd imagine.

Friday was another "ups and downs" kinda day. On the plus side: AT, one of my 'difficult' students first period, was screwing around as usual during class. I had to take away his test because he was talking, and eventually I wrote him up for detention, but hadn't given him the note yet. We moved into groups to finish up the memorial flag project for Sept. 11th (a great, but ultimately doomed idea), and his group more or less alone among all of them, was accomplishign their project, and not only that, doing an amazing job of it. So I quietly spoke to him and told him he was doing a good job, and that I'd tear up the detention note if he kept working. His group finished up, with a great flag, and I ripped up the note and tossed it into the garbage as he left... he went from being confrontational all the time to swinging by to say good-bye to me at the end of the day.

Negatives... hah, too many to list, but I'll put the top one up- narrowly avoided a really ugly situation when one of my Latino students, LR, who is ALWAYS giving me problems (i've had to physically restrain the kid 3 times to keep him from hitting other students... fun fun fun!) started fighting with a black student, and both were shouting racial slurs at each other, and other students in the class were starting to take sides... fortunately things were de-escalated (at the expense of zero teaching done in the class) and I was really helped out by one of the more popular students in my class (who is black, but friends with LR) who helped calm him down and settle the whole mess.

Most entertaining moment of the week. Grading one student's map/travel exam, I got the most ridiculous answers I have ever seen.

Q: List and explain three methods of travel that were used in both 500ad and 2002ad
A: 1.) One like going in little space and in big spaceships.
2.) When you were going in boats and in Airplane.
3.) Like in cars and know in 2002 we go in Airplanes, in trucks, and helecopters.

Q: What were four reasons that people traveled in 500ad?
A: 1.) How we travel in 500ad it was in cars.
2.) Along time ago you went running to get here.
3.) In boats little boats and ugly ones.
4.) Sometimes they bring you and if you get resident they send you back.

This student also identified Europe on the map as South Dakota... I suppose I have my work cut out for me.

Back in the classroom... damn the place is a circus. It's getting to be absolutely ridiculous, there are really only 2 classes where I actually 'teach' anything at all, which tends to mean that I'm not so much doing my job. The rest of the time is spent chasing kids around, trying to get them to sit down, or not insult each other, or not hit each other, or worse. Today I had to deal with a possible threat of a gang beat-down that one of the kids gave another, and spent another 5 minutes with a kid who wanted to read his WWF magazine with wrestling women in bikinis on the cover during silent reading time. The Sept. 11th memorial flag project is now extending into 3 days, and half my kids can't identify North America on a map. Gotta get back to the basics, I guess... no more projects, group work, nothing, until they can sit and take notes and find out which fucking continent they live on.

Sub training was less useless today... we spent a lot of time on classroom management, but it left me feeling a lot shakier than before I went in. We went over all sorts of "proven" management plans, systems, etc... which initially I thought would give me a lot of good ideas. Then as we went through them all i could think of was that I'd tried them and they didn't work, or wouldn't work in my class... which is entirely the wrong attitude I know, but I'm having a hard time shaking it. Every time I think about going back into my class, I get this nervous feeling in my stomach I haven't had since 7th grade, when I'd get it every day around 7th period as a prelude to getting pounded on in football practice. Hopefully the new, positive approach (8-1 ratio positive/negative comments) and the seating chart will help out tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm not nearly as stress-free as I used to think I was. I always figured I handled stress well because I'd never freak out about stuff, always could stay chill about most things, but it seems that it's found a way to bubble out subconsciously... with teaching, and my thesis beforehand, I've found I get really worked up in the middle of the night for no reason, like there's something really important that I've entirely forgotten to do... I'll lie in bed, semiconscious, not entirely sure what i'm freaking out about, then eventually fall back asleep, and only vaguely remember it in the morning. Really not so much fun, probably should find a better stress-reliever or something... or maybe just get my shit together, figure out how to make my class work, and then i'll sleep well. Worth a shot I guess.

Useless sub training today... probably the highlight of the day was listening to NPR on the way to and from training. As expected much of the content focused on the anniversary of Sept 11, and two of the programs that really caught my ear were about music that has been composed about the tragedy. The first program discussed a theater/music mini-festival in LA about Sept. 11th, and featured music from broadway composers who wrote about it, one of them- the Ballad of Mary O'Connor, was really really moving... the 2nd program, on the way home, featured a record company exec who was talking about all the unsolicited compositions she had received from garage bands and other random folks who were writing songs, most of which, she said, were pretty much crap. The point that struck home, however, was that for a lot of folks, Sept 11 was a call to do something different, even if it was only to send their crappy band's crappy song to a radio station or record company.

Also occurred to me that (sorry for this maudlin phase here, but there wasn't anything ridiculous in teacher-land today, and the mood of the anniversary is getting to me) if it wasn't for my choice of jobs last summer, I would have been in NYC last fall- almost having worked for Scott Stringer's Public Advocate campaign, I definitely would have been there with the primary the next day- not that it would have put me anywhere near ground zero, I probably would have been schlepping around Harlem with crates full of "walking around money" trying to get out the vote, but still... somethin' to think about

Is it too pretentious to have a latin name for this blog? Is it still pretentious when I tell you that it came from a bumper sticker on a freshman car in the Dunham parking lot at Ham Tek? So anyway, it's 6:40 and I'm still trying to get going on my lesson plans for my substitute for tomorrow. Tried to call a parents of 2 kids who skipped my detention on Friday. I checked in w/ CR and got some advice for how to approach the parents (her suggestion, quite usefully was about 200% less furious than my previous ideas on how to do it...) but then was kicked in the ass again as my kids have apparently given me fraudulent phone numbers on their info cards. I'm powerless... duped by 12 year olds... shudder.

Had a long talk w/ my dad today, and got some good advice... I need to approach this the way I'd approach any situation with a bunch of adults- work the room. Start with my allies (the kids who want to volunteer info, pay attention, etc.) then move to the difficult kids... a "keep your enemies closer" kinda deal. At that point I should at least be able to make some progress and get to the silent majority snoozing in the middle of the class. My allegory has been all wrong so far- I'm thinking army style, demand instant respect and punish disobedience, but I really need to think politics... that's what I'm good at, and probably how I'll win this class.

In non-school related news, RGH and I rolled down to Long Beach today to check the place out. I needed to get out of the house, get some sunshine and wander around. The LBC is way less dodgy than I thought it would be- I pictured a grim looking seaport with lots of surly longshoremen hauling things around, cursing, and smoking. Nope, shiny new skyscrapers, nice parks... a little too much touristy kitsch around the Queen Mary (must all attraction designers append a quaint faux-euro village to every theme park and 2-bit tourist trap?) but overall very nice. Encountered an interesting subculture that would be pretty intriguing to study if I was in ethnography not politics-of-7th-graders- the group of folks who fish off the pier, some of whom I think are doing it more for nourishment than for pleasure, and a disproportionate number of whom own chevy astrovans.

Okay, I hate 7th graders a little less (although a couple of them still get lots of wrath). What I do now dislike significantly is the Los Angeles Unified School District and its damn bureaucracy, because... guess what? I can't keep my 7th grade class. Apparently, middle school social studies is an "easy-to-fill" position (despite my class last year having been taught by an uncredentialed full-time substitute, not an actual teacher). Consequently, they aren't allowed to fill it with me, an uncredentialed new teacher. However, the district is still paying me as a "pool-teacher", assigned to the school, so they have me filling in that spot until something opens that I can teach, at which point I'll become a Sub-for-America or something, or perhaps tutor students, or observe other teachers. This while they PAY somebody else to take my class over... likely a credentialed teacher, but one without a history degree (they currently have the same teacher covering english, math, and social studies in 8th grade). So to top off all the other ridiculousness, I have to NOT teach my class Monday and Tuesday, but have the district pay a $300 to a sub to cover it while I go to sub training myself, so I can be useable when they get me out of my current slot. Anyone else confused?

That last post was more bitter than it should have been. In actuality I like quite a few of my students, and I really like it when they swing by and say hi in the halls and whatnot between classes, or when I see them after school. It's just a handful that make things more difficult than they need to be. I definitely wish I could curse in the classroom, I think it would make me more effective. Also if I could duct-tape kids mouths shut and epoxy them to chairs. And control the weather.

I hate 7th graders. And the school policy of only giving me one trashcan. And the damn school store and its damn spicy hot cheetos, sugar water, and starbursts. I like my gifted class and some nice kids in the other classes.

Ahh 2nd day of school today. Somewhat less hectic, although probably more stressful than yesterday. The longer I'm there, the less I can pull the "I just started and have no idea what to do" game. Today just did rules and regs in class, which is the most boring stuff imaginable, but everything takes twice as long with 39 kids in the class... it's impossible to get them quiet. Think of all the little comments in a 15 person class in college, multiply times 3, subtract tact and discretion that comes with not being in 7th grade... and there you have my room. I'm experimenting with just standing silent in front of the class and not trying to yell over them, see if i can eventually wear them down. I think I can out-wait them, but not sure... I wish I could just put all of the good kids in one class, and actually teach them, and just let the other kids shoot the shit. Anyhoo, at the end of the day, I had to deal with the mother of the kid I wrote up and got in-school-suspended yesterday for fighting. She came in, initially really defensive, not so much speaking English. With a discreet "con su permisio," another teacher ushered us down to the bilingual coordinator's office so he could translate. I was accompanied by my drama-queen neighbor teacher (more on her tomorrow probably) who had also had problems with this kid, and the mom proceeded to burst into tears because her kid was such a twerp in general. Working on getting through to him, but may be tough... kid's 11 and in anger management counseling... damn.

First days of school- Just got back from my 2nd day at Bret Harte Middle School... my tenure there has been a monument to TFA and LAUSD brilliance. Let's go back a few days, shall we, to last Friday. Jim comes back from the TFA office with a school name, address, and instructions to show up there on Tuesday at 7:30. I was jumping at straws at that point, having been totally without a job, and only one interview (up against 2 bilingual TFAistas to boot) that I didn't get a job from. So I figure I'll head down, meet the principal, and see what's in store for me. Now, the memo I got didn't specify WHICH Bret Harte school I'm headed to, so I look in my trusty Thomas's guide to LA, and find Bret Harte school in Burbank. Fucking Burbank?!? An hour and a half away on a good day!? Needless to say, I was somewhat less than ecstatic about that option. Had the alarm clock set for 5:00am and everything, and at midnight prior to the appointed day, figured out that it might be another school. Called up the phone number, and got the recorded message saying Bret Harte Middle School... Middle School? hmm... I didn't even like myself in middle school, much less other kids. Oh well, so reset the alarm for drive-to-Inglewood-not-Burbank time (5:45) and went to bed.

Next day, up and at-em, fired up, show up at the school (a nice 10 minute commute on the 105-how-i-loooove-thee-Freeway) get to the school, talk to Principal K. and realize... wait for it... that they have no idea who I am and what the hell I'm doin there. Lovely. So, quite nicely, instead of asking me to get off the grounds, calling the police, or whatnot, they interpret my explanations as something about "Teachers of America" and decide to let me observe. A bit into the observation, somebody rushes into the room, shouting that "This class hasn't had a teacher there for 40 minutes!!" and once more into the breach I go, my friends.

Anyway, I babysat that class for about half an hour, until the teacher returned from inexplicable absence and then went down to see the principal again. Taking me seriously now (after I answered an emphatic yes to the "so you're a real teacher?" question) he called somebody at human resources, determined that I was indeed hired by the district, and allowed me to talk him into giving me the recently vacated 7th grade social studies gig. So, I rolled into that class, aided by a sub who had taught the class before, and got all set up, and started teaching that day, 4th period. Things went pretty well until my last period class, where I had to move one kid for talking, then he insults a girl in class, for which I called him onto the carpet. A couple minutes later he was about to swing at another kid. So my first day of school ends with me diving between two 3' tall 11year olds and preventing punches. Lovely.

LA itself: There’s a really bizarre, almost surreal feel to large chunks of this city. Due I think to expanding so rapidly without much zoning or thought going into layout, one finds random globs of industry, commercial towers, small-town main streets, strip malls, and residential areas all thrown in together all over the place. My city, El Segundo (while not part of LA proper, it’s certainly lumped in) has five big office towers- DirecTV, Hughes, Oracle; an honest-to-God “Main Street” with little townie bars, a great hamburger place, etc.; the beach; an enormous Chevron refinery; lots of nice residential areas, and the Hyperion plant, known around here as the Shit Factory; all within about a 2 mile radius. It’s also got Sepulveda Blvd. running through it- one of the most glaring commercial meccas that I’ve ever encountered. From Santa Monica to Long Beach, Sepulveda serves up a never-ending repetition of furniture stores, fast food, oil changes, car washes, surf shops, Ralph’s supermarkets, and anything else that one could possibly want. There is some kind of charm to the mix of emporiums, specifically that there are a lot of non-chain stores, and odd CA-only chains like Koo Koo Roo California Kitchens, El Pollo Loco, the above-mentioned Ralph’s (home of 24/7 double coupons) and so forth that, at least for now, keep it from seeming too generic.

Arrived in LA- posting this from RD's computer in orange county. Will update further once I get some net access.

First off, apologies for not posting anything recently. Things have been so incredibly busy around here with the last week of summer school, and the last week of institute, that I never had a spare minute to sit down at my computer. Yesterday was the last day, and it was surprising how rough it was to leave kids who I'd only been teaching for three weeks really. One little girl, Daisy (who our FA said was "too sweet for the Bronx", gave each of us a little card she made saying that she wished we would be her teachers forever... and then was in tears because we were leaving. I only hope that LW, one of my collaborative-mates, gets placed in CES 70 and can keep up with the kids, let me know how they're doing. Our FA left us his email address, so on Monday I'll drop a line to the class and wish them the best of luck on their City Tests. The kids that we taught this summer were really so amazing... from Wascar, who was an incredibly cool little guy (watching him try to teach AY the "Crip Step" yesterday during our end of summer party was a highlight for sure) and could tell me nonchalantly about the attempted strangling he watched on the way to school, to little Daisy, to Jeremy, who's so smart and so scheming, especially when anything food-related happens (I had to stop him twice yesterday from just pulling his chair up to the snack table we set up for the party and digging in). I can't imagine how much stronger the bond is going to be with kids I'll have for the whole year (also how much more I'll want to kill them when they're screwing around, quite likely).

So Summer Institute is over, and I'm not sure what reflection to make yet... To a large degree, many things haven't begun to quite process yet- information overload and all that. Fortunately I'll have 45 hours of thinking time, especially on that long flat drive through Oklahoma (or Nebraska, or wherever, depending on what route DV managed to come up with.) All I can hope for is being even sort of prepared for when the door closes and I'm left alone with MY class in September...

Good to be back in the swing of things... Headed home straight after Friday's classes got over for Harborfest. Had a really good time at home, saw family and friends. Whenever I'm home, it always seems like Oswego is such a dreary place, with nothing to do, but for that weekend every year, the place really seems alive and beautiful. It helps that the past couple years we've had beautiful weather. The fireworks, as always, were fantastic, and it was really nice having my close friends and my family all together for it (kudos to GW and LH for saving our beers from the water after our "cool it in the lake" bag broke) More or less just really good to be home for a little bit. Fortunately, from what I know about my district, I'll have an incredible 4 months a year off to make it home now and again.

Disaster struck today in class. One of my kids' grandfather brought in cake/cookies/chips/coke/fruit punch for a birthday party. Party was great, but I had to teach math immediatley afterward. I tried to get them calmed down by doing a little stretching, then a 10 to 1 countdown with their heads down and quiet. This was made difficult by their refusal to sit quietly, and the cries of "blastoff!" at the conclusion of my countdown. Things got no better when I launched into the lesson, which involved kids moving around to kinesthetically grasp adding and subtracting fractions (ok, the whole class is 16/16, if 3 people leave you subtract 3/16, what fraction is left?). So I had kids moving around class which was difficult enough. Then the phone rang, and my FA was not there to get it. I picked up the phone, and it seemed to be some sort of social call for him, so I'm trying to take down the phone number in case it was a parent, but the phone kept cutting out, and the cord wouldn't stretch to the blackboard. In the meantime, some random girl had entered the class and poured herself a glass of fruit punch that was left over from the party. I finally got the phonecall over and struggled to get back control of the class, but every time I turned around, somebody was on the floor, or taking his shirt off, or something. And this was a lesson that required the kids to do some independent work while I moved around to help the kids who didn't get it. On top of this, half the class didn't have pencils, and the rest of the pencils kept breaking and seemed to not want to sharpen correctly. All told, massive disaster, and all while my CMA was observing... wonderful.

Addendum- Last night it rained, for the third time in the 27 days I've been here. What's really odd, is that there's a direct 1:1 correlation between the rain and the three nights I've had Los Angeles regional meetings. And it always rains during the meeting. Statistics folks (MPO this means you) figure this out, ok?

Day off from teaching today. Because of my odd 5-person collaborative (the result of me and AY being rolled into another collaborative after our first class was terminated), I only get to lead teach for 4 45 minute blocks a week, and we team-teach an hour-long literacy/numeracy hour every day. This is quite a drop-off from the first week, where I was teaching a 1.5 hour block twice a week. On the other hand, it was nice just to have a little time to catch up. In other news, my collaborative had its first big malfunction today, which led to some members venting some pent-up frustration. Apparently we arranged to meet a student's mom after school today, but never really figured out which of us was going to do it (we figured that 5 teachers showing up would be a bit overwhelming...) The upshot was, nobody actually went down to see her, which makes us look pretty incompetent, so we all kinda dropped the ball. This was sorta the last straw for those who thought that some of us were kind of running a loose ship. I personally think that we all need to meet more so our wires don't get crossed at all, and I certainly need to step up and take more ownership over the class. Hopefully at our meeting tonight everything can get ironed out.

Really looking forward to getting home to Oswego for Harborfest this weekend... looks like most of the crew from OHS will be there- AS, DV, AC, BS, RH, DW, etc. should be good times (and a hell of a lot cheaper than going out in NYC).

Heat is back, and it is really really bad. I got another "Mr. Williams? Did you spill water on your back?" in class today after tramping up 4 flights of stairs from the basement in a shirt that (unfortunately) has some color-changing properties when damp. The class continues to be a real joy to teach- today I read them the old Appalachian folk tale "Taily-Po", which they absolutely loved. I think that even though they really didn't seem to get the sequencing activity I did afterwards, the fact that one of my reluctant readers asked for my copy of the story to take home made the whole thing worthwhile. Apologies to regular readers for not keeping updated lately, but it's just been too damn hot to sit in my room and type any of this up. When things cool down (it was 106 on the heat index today at 6 pm!) I should be in better spirits.

BTW: if any of y'all are reading this and have a few minutes, drop me an email (cnyexpat@hotmail.com) 'cause it's been 3 days since I've gotten anything other than ads for porno and debt reduction.

Weekend passed so quickly, I really can't believe it. On the other hand, last week seemed to pass pretty quickly as well. Friday night went out to local bars with a bunch of TFAistas, then up to a dorm lounge to drink cheap sangria out of 3 oz. cups. The freshman-year-of-college vibe here on weekends is so incredibly odd, especially when there are a lot of people (my roomate, for instance) who've been out of college for 3 or 4 years. On a Friday night it's really hard to believe that we're all teachers, or to take ourselves seriously at all...

Yesterday I went w/ my roomate JZ to Manhattan for the day, after an interminable district meeting where I ended up far more confused about the policies of the Los Angeles Unified School District than I was before I started. I'm really hoping to get into Cal State TEACH for my credentialing program, even though it's a bit more expensive than Long Beach or LA, because it's an entirely online-based, which means I wouldn't have to trek down to Long Beach 2 nights a week for the next couple years. Anyway, we went to the Guggenheim, which was really a trip. Along with a great collection of "name-brand" art like Cezanne, Degas, Picasso, etc., they had an exhibit called "Moving Pictures" which was mostly really odd photographs and video art (think my class with Terry Cuddy). All in all, very interesting, especially the works by Gregory Crewdson and Jeff Koons. After that, took the 4 down to SoHo and window shopped for a while- oddly entranced by the sweet Steve Madden shoes but unfortunately nothing there within budget. Had dinner at a cool little sidwalk cafe- nice to get dinner + tax/tip for under $10, even if my ravioli w/ pink sauce wasn't all that fantastic. Met up later w/ my advisor CR and the three of us checked out Times Square, which was as flashy as i'd imagined. I was struck by the idea that all of us tourists who were there are basically lining up to gawk at large advertisements. If somebody could find a way to charge us to get in, even a couple of bucks, it would be Madison Avenue's greatest triumph anywhere- an advertising theme park.

On a side note: further evidence of my district's utter, utter incompetence. We'd been told for 3 weeks that my elementary school was called the Max Schoenfeld School, named after the first principal. That's the name that's on all the official stationary and school letterhead. However, a plaque was discovered on Friday dedicating the school to Max Schoenberg, not Schoenfeld. The damn place doesn't even know what it's called... unbelievable.

Fools in the administration continue to astound me. Today, with one day's notice, we got midterms to give to our kids in math and reading. Not only did they totally fail to notify us about them at all (and giving kids 2 hours of pop quiz is a recipe for stress, even when you tell them it doesn't really count), but they were so half-assed. As my roomate said, it seemed like they were put together by some day-late, dollar-short administrator at 3 in the morning. My class got question books that didn't match answer sheets (mark A, B, C, or D in the question book for #3, but #3 in the answer sheet only had E, F, G, or H). Not only that, the test had the kids referring to maps on pages where no maps were, and telling them to answer "questions 13-25 using this passage" when the whole test only had 20 questions. When you're trying to reassure kids who've become terrified of high-stakes standardized tests that they're going to do OK, this is not reassuring. Frankly, if this is the quality of the final tests these kids get, no wonder so many of them fail. This shit is not happening in Westchester.

Well, after the rant yesterday, things did indeed get better. I'm now teaching 3rd grade, in a class that is so ridiculously well-behaved that it's certainly not preparing me for the fall whatsoever, but is really pleasant now. The kids are great at math (what I worked on with them today), we'll see how things go tomorrow. My new collaborative is great, if excessively vulgar (even for me). It is quite a pain in the ass for me (and for them) to redesign everything to take in me and AY, my other 5th grade exile. I would write more, but as of right now I really need to get a "Multiplication Bingo" lesson plan done for tomorrow. One final note: today in our group meeting, we were given notice from institute staff (not directed to us in particular) that whoever had been hitting on the girls at the high school volleyball camp at Fordham should stop, because their coaches were complaining. We are so shady here.

You know, if I ever get on a school board, or am running a district for some reason or another, I would never hire anyone as an administrator who was more than a few years out of the classroom. The brilliant bean-counters down at the district office decided to sacrifice children's education for a few bucks saved (which I'd imagine went for executive lunches or new mahogany panelling for the superintendent's office or some other worthy purpose). My class was canceled, my FA removed to another school, and due to some stupid goddamn arbitrary rules, the teacher next door couldn't take over my class, and supervise us as well as the TFA folks in her room (would have put her 2 students over the 24 max. class size) even though she was willing to do it and did it all day today effectively. Despite my advisor CR going to bat with us in front of the principal, no luck. Now, this stuff is a pain in the ass for me- I have to learn new kids names, figure out how to teach 3rd grade instead of 5th, get about half the teaching time in, etc. etc. But it's doable for me. I'm in this job because I'm flexible- I'm an adult, I've done change before, it's annoying, but I can deal. My kids however, get completely screwed. It took us and the FA 2 weeks of teaching to figure out where each of them really needed help, how they worked with each other, and how we could best teach them. We had units in progress, books in early chapters, hell- we only got halfway through the play we were reading today. By the time another teacher gets them, figures out how they'll fit into her lesson plans, get them assessed (even if we share what we know, you can only tell so much) they'll have about a week of summer school left, and what good will that do them? These are all kids who didn't have to be here, who signed up (or whose parents signed them up) to get extra help and make sure they entered 6th grade on a track to graduate... What gives somebody in the district office the right to waste their time? Just because they're numbers on a sheet? Statistics? Sure, close a 5th grade class, it's only a dozen kids. Well, shit. Somebody should be making these decisions who's actually come down and seen these kids. Seen what they've been doing, and how hard they've been trying this past week... seen how they light up when they tell me that they're finally figuring out fractions for the first time because we had the time to sit down with them in 2 on 1 groups to work through it. On top of that, how many times have some of these kids have adults walk out on them? Adults who told them they'd be there, and said they cared about them, and would help them? Maybe that's why one incredibly talented but unfocused boy spent the ten minutes after we gave our sad announcement pounding on his desk in frustration and burst into tears as my colleague walked him out the door? Anyone in the district office see that? And if they did, do you think it would make a difference?

Very slow day today, although quite productive. Kind of nice to be able to just lounge around read, IM people, and call some folks I haven't talked to in a while. RD woke me up with a start at 11 to go to breakfast, which was nice because it kicked me out of an awful dream I was having. The first teaching nightmare, as it were. Dreamed that for some reason, my class was being held in my old bedroom at home. On top of that I had no lesson plan prepared, and was distributing M&Ms for an activity, but not quite sure why. Then my glasses broke, so I couldn't see the kids, and they started rioting, throwing M&Ms all over the place. I was panicking heavily when RD woke me up (I also had a disturbing dream earlier about trying to take mass transit all over Oswego and having no idea why, or where things were, but just sure I was really late for something... probably the class being taught in my room). Spent the afternoon getting lesson plans figured out, and retyping "The Monkey's Paw". It is an incredible pain in the ass to type a play. Way harder than just churning out the words, it took me like 2.5 hrs. for 2000 words. Really unpleasant, but necessary. But, finally got all my lesson plans figured out and such for the week ahead, which of course may be utterly useless if I don't have a class... Well, they want flexibility, so we'll be flexible, I guess.

Very restful day today. After the stressful (though highly entertaining) day yesterday, I got to entirely relax today. Went w/ RD to the botanical gardens, saw venus flytraps, plants that look like rocks, and the waterful. Quite nice. Read my new book (Newjack: Guarding Sing Sing) which has been excellent thus far. Then went w/ RD and CR to Howl at the Moon, a local watering hole, where we had some drinks with Greg, a local ex-con who's hoping to be in the FDNY, although now he's a building super and volunteer fireman. Greg prefaced all sentences with "no offense" meant entirely for CR, before he launched into a discussion of how they hung a black guy in his neighborhood ONLY FIFTEEN YEARS AGO!!! THAT'S 1985!!!! Despite his well-intentioned bigotry (and I'm sure he congratulated himself on the way home for buying a pitcher for a black guy and his friends) Greg was really entertaining, a welcome break from lesson planning. Although I'm quite glad that he and his 48th precinct buddies aren't patrolling MY streets, it was very interesting shooting the shit with him.

Wow, ridiculous ridiculous day yesterday. Started out, I had a fantastic day with the kids. In our small groups (extra small because it was friday, I only had 2 kids in mine) we were working on multiplying fractions, and I really think that I was getting through to them in a way other teachers hadn't before. Before going through the formulas and "numerator" and "denominator", we were trying to get them to understand the concept by using recipes (double a recipe for pizza, for one pizza you need 3/4 cups of sauce, how many cups for 2 pizzas?). I didn't think that my final quadrilateral lesson went well, but our Faculty Advisor said that he thought it went over very well with the kids. I started reading "Holes" to them, and they loved it.

Then came the downside: due to district cuts, it looks like my class is going to be eliminated. Because we've only had around 9 kids or so every day, our class isn't a useful allocation of resources or something, so the kids will be split up and placed in other classes, our FA is going to teach 6th grade in another school, and I'm not sure what I'll be doing Monday. TFA folks told us not to panic, they're working on a way of trying to keep the class together, maybe with TFA people serving as the accredited "teacher" in the room while my collaborative and I are teaching. The principal is going to try to pull some strings with the district office. My collaborative and I are hopeful, we left all our charts and posters and stuff up on the walls, and are going in on monday with lesson plans, ready to teach somebody.

To celebrate the end of the week (and to de-stress), the TFA corps from CES 70 all went to happy hour at a little bar that I think serves as a Fordham student watering hole during the year. The bartender (grateful to have business this time of year, i think) extended Happy Hour until 8, and added to the fact that we were all exhausted, a lot of people there were pretty sloshed when we headed home. After a brief stop at White Castle, where I had to remind my colleagues that loud cursing was not particularly social behavior, I was basically hauling four of them home, having to stop now and again to peel them off the ground where they were trying to sleep. Three of the four at one point all offered to sleep with me (2 female, one male... which was interesting if awkward). I plead prior commitment and told them all to go to bed. Should be interesting running into them today, I can only hope they were blacked out at the time. Things stayed interesting for the rest of the night, I got back to my room and was taken by another crew to a TFA social at this salsa/merengue club somewhere near the GW bridge. (The rave thing i mentioned the other day was deemed not viable due to the fact that it ended at 4 am) I had a really good time there, although I'm absolutely wretched at salsa dancing. Danced several times with a very attractive girl who seemed to not mind that i was whacking her in the head with my arm every time we tried to do the spin parts of the dance. Subsequently, she convinced me to go on stage with her for karaoke. Quite appropriately, as this was a latino bar where even the call to come up on stage was in spanish, she had signed us up for the Offspring's "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" which the crowd seemed to enjoy immensely. Best part of the whole weekend was not waking up at 6.

Things are definitely looking up today. Taught my best lesson to date, and have great ideas for the coming week (reading the students "The Monkey's Paw" and with the kids first making 3 wishes, then after reading it switching papers and writing about how those wishes could go horribly wrong. A couple "rambunctious" students might have some interesting and gruesome things written about them!) Anyway, things just going very well. Going with some friends tomorrow night to some rave/nt tunderground hip hop/circus/costume party in the old Schwarz building- the first power plant in New York... one of my buddies has a friend who's running this thing, where a bunch of artists and entrepreneurs took over the building for 2 weeks and are having events there both weekends, with the whole place decorated and decked out. Should be very interesting, especially when taking into account the crew I'm going with. I'm not sure what it is, but I definitely (through random chance entirely) seem to attract gay roomates. I've had 3 in the past 4 years- first year of college, nashville, and here in NYC. I went into all of those blind, but I'm pretty sure i've definitely exceded the random chance factor. I've no complaints, my roomate now is awesome. Beats the hell out of Reid, certainly.

Wed., July 10:

Third day teaching today. Things were up and down, more time spent on down, but the brief up was fantastic and made up for all of it. After yesterday, I thought I had the whole "lesson plan" thing down pat, but today everything went to hell. Started out meeting the kids at breakfast, which was interesting, got to talk to one of the kids extensively which was really nice. Thought that class might only be 4 kids today, that's all that showed up early in the morning, but more trickled in later. Spent my planning period finishing grading the math test, which they all tanked. Really, really tanked. This is a 5th grade math final for kids who passed 5th grade, and nobody scored more than a 50% on it... kinda disheartening, but at least they all can read pretty well. Anyway, my lesson plan went completely out the window when I realized that the chapter I planned to teach in "Frindle", our reading book, was not one we could get up to because my collaborative colleague had not finished the preceding chapter the day before. Pretty sure the screwup was because i thought he said they read through chapter 9, not "to" chapter 9... so anyway had to come up with a lesson plan on the fly and discard the one i had spent 2 hours on last night... wonderful. The kids knew i was bullshitting, i knew that they knew, and they knew that I knew that they knew. Consequently they took it to me pretty well. Our small group math instruction, however, was wonderful. One exchange between me and a student made my day. "Good job, you just divided 4 subs so that 6 people could have them equally" I said. "unh uh, no I didn't-I can't divide" he replied. "well you just did," I said, "and even more, you reduced a fraction too."

Dramatic difference the 2nd day of teaching. Had a better lesson plan, and went in prepared to be more of a hardass if necessary. Kids are great, we're doing a biography project and one of them asked if he could write my biography. Although I was quite touched, I'm pretty sure I want to remain biography free right now (especially when this is the same kid who raised his hand and noted to the class that my underarm sweat was quite noticeable today) Would love to write more, but I'm so damn exhausted. Up until 1 last night just to use the copier... hoping to finish grading my math assessments, finish my lesson plan for tomorrow, and retire soon. Thanks to the folks for sending up my new read-aloud. From what I've heard, the kids will love it.

First day of school today... My lesson today was, for all intents and purposes, a flop. In the parlance of our objective-based classes here, "Student was not able to...." do much of anything that I thought they should be able to do at the lesson's end. I figured, these are 5th graders, they should know triangles, it'll be a review. Simple as that. Due to a late start and lack of net access last night, most of the entry points of interest did not find themselves in my final presentation. I also bit off way more than the kids could chew today, and consequently nobody had any idea what was going on. I thought things were going well (even though my first question "what do you already know about triangles" did elicit the response "they have 2 parallel lines") until we got to the worksheets and it became pretty clear that only a couple of kids had a clue what I was teaching. Got some really good feedback from my faculty advisor, mostly to clarify my instructions, print bigger on the blackboard, and try not to cram so much stuff into a lesson. Really liked the kids, actually especially liked the 2 who were referred to as behavior problems before class. Just about killed me when I asked one little boy a question, and his only answer was to pull at his shirt, buttoned up to the throat, and let me know how hot it was... and it was damn hot in there, not as bad as last week, but still 4th floor unairconditioned, no windows open room in the Bronx. Got a ride home with one of my friends, who was crushed after an encounter with his FA. He was teaching a lesson on long division, and one of the students was trying like hell, but without ever getting an answer right. The FA, sick of listening to the kid, just shot him down in front of the whole class, and he didn't talk for the rest of the class. My friend said the FA had pretty much given up on the kids, even though she'd only had them for a week... another friend had a 13 year old in her 4th grade class, who read at a 2nd grade level. You have to wonder how the people teaching these kids can sleep at night... i certainly won't tonight until i get lesson plan together that I think will work better than the ill-fated triangle plan of today.

4 July
Happy Independence Day, and all that. The 4th for us means that we got to sleep in an extra 30 minutes, and got out of classes today at noon. Of course, I had to meet w/ my collaborative to work on our unit and lesson plans until 3, so no big bonus. Looks like I'll be heading out to the Island to visit EF and HV, should be a good time, probably will finish my lesson plans by laptop on the train. Hope the battery holds up. Weather continues to be unbearably hot, today 108 heat index. Apparently last year, so many people at the institute hooked up that it was called jokingly "Sleep with America." With the weather as it is, we agreed today that any physical contact whatsoever would be completely unbearable, and that the cold shower every morning was indeed better than sex.

3 July Got my district assignment today in the mail- LA Unified. Not exactly what I wanted, i was hoping for Lynwood or Compton (partially for the cachet with my BET fan college roomates), but mostly for practical reasons. It looks though like LAUSD will be pretty close to where I want to live, but since I'm not sure, we can't really move on getting an apt. until I get out there. Also, there's the chance that I might get placed on track B teaching, which means that I wouldn't start until Nov., hence wouldn't get paid until Dec. I really don't have any intention of going home to Oswego if I get put on that, so I'll have to figure something out. My roomate said that subs make $160/day, and since I'd be hired at my school, I could probably get on a permanent subbing list. Not the best way to do things, but if it happens, I'm sure I'll get by one way or another.

Returned from 2nd day at CES 70, the Max Schoenfeld School (Excel every day... the Schoenfeld way!) a school apparently named for a dapper gentleman who used to stroll about the previously Jewish neighborhood wearing a top hat. My CMA group ('Corps Member Advisory'-- Teach for America loves acronyms, as well as corny team-building stuff) will likely be called the Schoenfeld Sharks after my roomate's drawing of a shark in a top-hat. I wanted the Jets, but was overruled, and roundly booed for the West Side Story joke. The past couple days we've had a lot of curriculum sessions where we cram about 30 of us into a 3rd grade classroom (complete w/ 3rd grade desks and tiny little chairs, the structural integrity of which was quite dubious) to learn about how to teach. Today we got "how to teach literacy" in about 1.5 hours... I think there's gonna be a lot of winging it. I found out my summer teaching assignment today- 5th grade enrichment class w/ Mr. Pichardo. He seemed like a great guy, and definitely tried to put as at ease as my collaborative (me, Jo from Arkansas, and Andy from Idaho-- Jo, Jeff & Andy sounds like a low budget radio morning show, maybe in the Harrisburg media market...) met with him today for the first time. Unfortunately we're picking up in the middle of the unit he started yesterday on a book called "Frindle", which I'm not really familiar with, so I think we're going to try to finish that up quickly and get on to our own plan. Right now we're going to try to do a biography unit. We only have 5 weeks, so we'll probably read some short bios and excerpts to and with the kids, discuss parts of biographies, etc., with the goal of the students researching and writing a bio of someone important in their family or neighborhood. Hopefully we can pull it off, it's a lot to do in 4 weeks, but TFA is pretty big on "big, ambitious goals that other people might say are unreasonable" (the catchphrases around here are rampant). Last night we had our opening ceremonies... I was pretty cynical going in (mostly from being hot and cranky, and, as my roomate J notes, "needing a nap" But despite some initially cheesy moments, it was really f*%*ing moving. (working on watching the language... misbehaving kids will now be "those flippin' kids") Anyway, got a another meeting tonight at 10 with my collaborative, and I'm still trying to cease sweating from the run I took 3 hours ago (followed by a 15 minute cold shower, then dinner in the ACed room... this weather sucks a lot) then perhaps bed. Our bus doesn't leave tomorrow until 7:15 so I get an extra half hour of sleep. Loving it.

Well, I'm writing this on Sunday the 30th as a text document to be pasted into "Updates" whenever my interenet service comes back up. It was getting dodgy Friday night, and cut out entirely yesterday. I'm not sure if it's for the whole campus or just my building (the lab downstairs is also out.) Anyway, yesterday I took the MSAT (Multi-Subject Assessment for Teachers) which was certainly the most preposterous test I've ever taken, and quite likely one of the biggest wastes of 8 hours ever. The exam (2 hr. multiple choice test and 3 hr. essay test) kicked off with us riding a schoolbus to Christopher Columbus H.S. at 6:45 am, and we didn't get back until around 4 in the afternoon... a blast. Everything on the test was ridiculous and nitpicky, from history questions I wasn't sure on to phys ed (mechanics of spiking a volleyball) etc. The most ridiculous was a "visual arts" question with a picture of a sculture called "Bird in Space" with the description that its author was interested in "movement through time and space." My answer was a triumph of bullshit--I said somethign about the gracefully sweeping art of the left side of the statue being reminiscent of the contrails of the space shuttle in flight or something of that sort. The highlight of the afternoon was the appearance of the ice cream truck while we were all waiting on the steps of the school waiting for the busses to arrive (must have been quite a spectacle for the locals, wondering why there were so many white folks there). A few of us decided to abandon the bus altogether and walked home. Got ahold of PB and EH and took the metro north up to bronxville for dinner, good times. Got back and was looking around for something to do, but a bunch of the guys had already taken off to Manhattan to a club, and the lack of useful door-propping equipment makes it hard to see who's home, so i just ended up crashing. Weather continues to be hot, took a stroll with some folks up here to get a few much-needed supplies at a drugstore. Apparently tomorrow we actually start doing something, so I should have some more info then. Almost finished w/ "Truman" for Mrs. O, excellent book. The more I read, the more I admire the man.


Sunday, 30 June, 10:45 pm
I have 7 hrs exactly until the alarm goes off, waking me up for my first real day of this teaching deal, although we're not actually teaching tomorrow, just meeting our schools and groups, etc. Fairly nervous, but I've been getting antsy not really doing anything, and I'm looking forward to getting started. Coming back from my run tonight I strolled onto the quad, surrounded by fireflies (they're really plentiful up here) and saw a group of my soon-to-be colleagues playing ultimate on the lawn, as though we were all college freshmen again. There seems to be a unity of purpose here that I don't sense many places... we had it on the campaign, but it seemed to be more common among interns than staff. This seems to be that feeling writ large, everybody is open and friendly, you can stroll up to somebody, sit down, introduce yourself, and ask/answer the 4 big questions: "where are you going" (LA), "what are you teaching there" (elementary), "where are you from" (upstate, usually with a jerk of the thumb toward someplace else, presumably north), "where did you go to school"(Hamilton, usually have to explain where/what that is) and occasionally the extra question about whether I know where I'm teaching yet. This has surprisingly lead to getting to know people pretty quickly, which is quite nice. I can't help but feeling, however, that none of us have any clue what we're getting into.

Highly uneventful day today. Got up late, read more of David McCullough's "Truman," which I'm reading for a friend's mom. She's having dinner w/ the author when he comes to a lecture at oswego, and wanted some good questions to ask him without wading through the 900 page book.... I"ve been assigned to read "John Adams" next. Other than that, major accomplishments were getting a parking pass for my car (which took 2 hours and 5 trips across campus) and buying another fan and shower caddy. Really hard to find a shower caddy at sears. I'm ended up buying a paint roller bucket, which i think will work well because it can hang from the curtain rod. This beat my previous idea of using grill drip pans with a bent clothes hanger as a handle. Goes without saying I am not McGuyver. One of the first times outside of a Popeyes Chicken that I was really really conscious of being incredibly, incredibly white. I really think I was the only white dude in the entire sears. Interesting experience, being in the Bronx. My first impression leaving the Fordham campus was of a billboard for Hennessy entirely in spanish... not really used to that in Utica or Oswego. I'm sure the Buddy Holly glasses, shortsleeve plaid shirt, and khaki shorts really helped me fit in... might as well wear a do' rag (sp?) at an AD party at school. Tried to go to a Yankees game, totally underestimating popular demand for a subway series. I mean, I see games on TV all the time with no people in the stands, why do they all have to go while I'm here? If I'm in the bronx for 5 weeks, and don't see a game, I'll be pretty damn aggravated. Roomate came in today, really good guy- we're both getting up for the 6:45 MSAT, which from the preview I got in his study guide, I'll have plenty to bitch about tomorrow.

Well, the drive down to NYC was uneventful, as soon as the "Efedrine" brand ephedrine kicked in I was wide awake and listening to the same mix CD over and over again. Made good time and got to Fordham around 3:30, where the mass confusion and inefficiency immediately commenced. Took me almost 3 hours to register, having to go to 11 different stations, complete some task or another (give $3 exact change for laundry, tell them I didn't want the laptop that I didn't sign up for and they didn't have waiting for me) and get a smiley face stamp on our little checklist, which along with the nametag on a lanyard and the hordes of parents waiting with their kids gave the whole circus a summer-camp feel. Barely got through the fingerprinting line (3 separate lines, like buying bread in the USSR circa 1978) before they closed at 6:00, made it back to the dorm just in time to unload my car in the rain. Things of course improved from here. There are apparently 2 dorms that TFA is using here, one is the "good dorm", Millenium, which is close to where we need to go every day, air conditioned, and each room has its own bathroom. My dorm, the aptly named "Martyr's Court" has no AC, 4 showers for about 40 guys, and is on the ass-end of campus. The one advantage is that it's near a Sears where I can buy another fan to cool down my un-airconditioned room. After missing dinner, I went with some guys I met to get dinner, locking my door on the way out, only to return and find I couldn't get in, as they'd given me a key that was for someone else's room. Eventually that got straightened out, although keeping me from a basketball game (probably a good thing). My roomate's not in yet, so I'll comment on him later. The guys that I've met so far (all-guys hallway) are great, hopefully the initial impression is correct. Drop me a line at cnyexpat@hotmail.com (I've completely forgotten the html for that, DV or JK drop me a reminder perhaps) if you get a chance. Apparently nothing to do tomorrow other than get my parking pass before 3:30... probably the last rest I'll get in a while.